Broome Broome Express

Ms Watson

If you want to be treated like an inconvenience and have your vehicle mistreated, this company is for you! My first contact was mysterious...a call from an unknown number with no message. Naturally, I'd been hopeful that I was finally going to have a new stalker of my very own, but it was not to be... They called and called the next morning while I was working away and unable to rush to the phone to receive the mistreatment I clearly crave, but I needn't have worried...Broome Broome Express had arrived uninvited at my workplace! Using what remained of my fifteen minute break to call them (weirdly, they had magically learned how to leave messages...must have been witchcraft of some kind) I was told that he wanted to leave the car at my work immediately. I naturally bowed to this sugggestion...just kidding, I told him I was not willing or able to rearrange my workday to accommodate the unannounced arrival of anything. And that's when I received one of the most generous offers of my life.... He was going to leave the car in my driveway and drop the key in my meter box! My excitement really started to build then...my meter box is inside the house, perhaps I WAS going to get another stalker! It was difficult to avoid being distracted by all the fabulous possibilities ...he could start a club with my ex and they could compare AVOs. But, I digress... In the end I told him that he'd just have to wait until I finished work and got home. When I did finally get my new car they'd gifted me some dirt in the footwell, dirty scuff marks on the driver's side door and my new car had been driven 32km and recorded a fuel consumption rate nearly three times higher that the spec for it's model. I'm no car expert, but I suspect that Broome Broome Express were kind enough to add the dirt and give my car a little thrashing for free!

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